Old Friends

As I get older, it seems I am drawn more and more to old friends that I've known for many years.  Maybe that's normal?  We have a common upbringing, common friends, common memories.  We are a support group of peers that no formal help group can equal!  Our bonds grow stronger as we struggle with aging, divorce, death of a child or spouse, health issues or job loss.

This past Friday night I went out with a girlfriend from high school. It was a big night out on the town for both of us. We went to Trader Joe's which is a grocery store!  But, it was something to do and we do enjoy our time together.

After a very brief shopping experience we stopped at Chipotle's for dinner.  Nothing special but it was an absolutely gorgeous night and we decided to eat outside.  We ended up sitting there and chatting until 11:45 pm.and long after the restaurant had closed.  It was the two of us and the cleaning crew inside!

We get into some deep conversations occasionally.  Very casually, she asked me what I would have done differently in my life.  My immediate response was twofold:  1.) I would get my education, and 2.) I wouldn't have married my ex.

I was very emphatic on that!  The first is so true! I've always regretted not getting my education.  I have no idea how I would have done it but there had to be a way.  I didn't know what I wanted to be and had no clear goals.  Who knows the things I could have done with a degree?  What doors would have opened?  But, it's too late now for it to make much difference in the rest of my life.  Still, it is a lifelong regret and I will tell anyone who asks to pursue your goals and dreams.  Pursue them with a vengeance!

Regarding the 2nd answer:  My marriage was "okay" at times but I wouldn't say it was ever good.  We were socially, emotionally, financially and spiritually on different paths.  It was not a recipe for success.  I don't regret my decision to leave my marriage and I honestly think it was the only choice I had. It's not always been easy being single but I've grown more as an individual than I could ever have done in that marriage. I do regret that the marriage didn't work. I was raised as a Christian and marriage was "once" and "for life".  Somehow I had to reconcile in my head and heart before I could leave.  It came down to the fact that I felt that God didn't want me to live a miserable life. He is my Heavenly Father and he wants me to be happy and to live a full and rich life just as my earthly parents wanted.  I couldn't do that in my marriage. I now know that I had Biblical grounds for divorce but I still don't like it. I don't like that I broke my family apart and all the ramifications resulting from that decision. There are no family holidays, Sunday dinners or vacations. However, I still do not regret making a personal choice that allowed me to live and breathe and I probably should have made the decision many years earlier.

Two amazing things did come from my marriage.  I have 2 wonderful children who are now happy and successful adults.  I couldn't be more proud of each of them. They are people I want to be friends with whom I trust and respect.  What more could a mother ask for?

Anyway, the simple question from my friend has had me thinking for 2 days now.  No! I am not where I thought I would be. I always thought I would be married and helping raise my grandchildren at this age. I envisioned the life that my parents had.  That is not where I am.

Are there things I would change?  ABSOLUTELY!  Have I had a great life?  ABSOLUTELY!  Are there better things to come?  ABSOLUTELY!

So, for now, it's day by day but I am happy and living a good life.  What more could I ask for?

Lida Mae C. Meissner Schultes 1903 - 1988

Lida Mae C. Meissner Schultes 

1903 - 1988 

Weekly Ancestor Challenge 

Week 26 

29 June 2014 

 

Lida Mae Meissner Schultes 1903-1988

Lydia "Lida" Mae Meissner was born on 27 April 1903 in Hamilton County, Cincinnati, Ohio.  She was the youngest of 4 children born to Heinrich "Henry" Meissner and Caroline "Carrie" Miller.  She had two older sisters, Irene A. and Loretta Anna and a brother named Harry Jesse.

On 1 August 1921, Lida married to Earl Herman Schultes, son of Gregory "Buck" Schultes and Florence "Flora" Frederick Schultes Whiteford in Newport, Campbell County, Kentucky.  Lida was 18 years old and Earl was barely 19 years old.

On March 15th 1925, Lida delivered her first born child, John Earl Schultes.  The baby boy only lived about 6 weeks.  John Earl was named for his Uncle John Schmidlin.  Aunt Audrey remembers Grandma (Lida) saying that "his little arms and legs started turning in" and Grandma thought her "milk wasn't good enough".  Loretta Engel Meissner Hilliard Wehlau, niece of Lida, remembers that his head kept getting larger.  Baby John Earl Schultes is buried at Vine Street Cemetery in the family plot. 

SCHULTES JOHN
County Name: HAMILTON Date of Death: 4/30/1925
Volume Number: 4718 Certificate Number: 22892
John Schultes, "Ohio, Deaths, 1908-1953"
Name:John Schultes        
Titles and Terms:       
Event Type:Death        
Event Date:30 Apr 1925        
Event Place:Cincinnati, Hamilton, Ohio        
Residence Place:       
Address:40 E. Clifton Ave.        
Gender:Male        
Age:0        
Marital Status:Single        
Race:W         Occupation:       
Birth Date:15 Mar 1925        
Birthplace:Cincinnati, Hamilton, Ohio        
Birth Year (Estimated):1925        
Burial Date:01 May 1925        
Burial Place:       
Cemetery:Vine St. Hill        
Father's Name:Earl Schultes         
Father's Titles and Terms:       
Father's Birthplace:Ohio        
Mother's Name:Lida Meissner         
Mother's Titles and Terms:       
Mother's Birthplace:Ohio        
Spouse's Name:       
Spouse's Titles and Terms:       
File Number:fn 22892        
GS Film number:1992619        
Digital Folder Number:004001608        
Image Number:02590        

The following year,  Lida had another baby. This time it was a little girl and they named her Shirley Mae.  She was born on August 26, 1926.  The family was still living on Dreman Avenue in Northside (aka Cumminsville) which is located near Knowleton's Corner.  Dr.Hoother/Whother delivered all of Lida's babies.

Earl William Schultes was born less than a year later on July 10th, 1927.  Earl was named after his father.
 

Ray Schultes was born less than a year later on June 23, 1928.   He was named for a family friend and neighbor, Raymnd Krimme, who worked as a deputy clerk at the courthouse.

Lida was kept very busy with her young, active family.  Imagine, 3 children under 3 years of age!

Six years after Ray was born, Lida had one more child.  This time it was another little girl and she was named Harriet Lee Schultes after her Uncle Harry Meissner and his wife Leonora.

Lida and her youngest child, Harriet

Lida worked outside the home when the children were young.  Shirley helped by watching the younger children while her mother worked.  Remember that the stock market crashed in 1929 and the Great Depression began. Times were tough and people worked at whatever kind of work they could find.  By 1931, nearly 25% of the population was unemployed and without the social welfare programs we have today.

Sometime during the 30's, Lida and Earl took in Lida's niece, Loretta.  Loretta's mom (Lida's sister) had passed away in 1920.  Shortly after, Loretta went to live with her grandparents because her father just couldn't take care of an infant and work. Eventually, Loretta's grandparents adopted her.  Loretta was 12 when her grandmother passed away and about 18 when her grandfather died.  That's when she moved in with Lida and Earl Schultes.  The house was crowded with 2 adults and  5 children.  Eventually, the family moved Loretta to Chicago and she lived there with Uncle Harry Meissner and his wife Lenora.

 

Lida worked over the years and in the early 1940's the family moved to the house on the hill in  Mt. Healthy, Hamilton County, Ohio.   There were only 2 bedrooms and one bath in the house.  The boys often slept on the unheated porch.  There was also a small piece of land in front of the house at the corner of Mill and Hamilton Avenues.  About June 1944, the family opened a restaurant, bar and gas station in front of the house.  Earl ran the gas station and did small repairs.  Shirley went to work helping her mother in the restaurant while Earl and Ray helped their father by pumping gas and cleaning windshields.

The house on the hill - Hamilton Avenue, Mt. Healthy, Ohio

Lida's husband, Earl Herman Schultes, passed away on May 8th, 1970 leaving Lida a widow for the next 18 years.

Lida passed away on 13 December, 1988 in Hamilton County, City of Montgomery, Ohio.  She chose to be cremated and her ashes were scattered over the grave of her husband in Arlington Memorial Gardens located in Mt. Healthy, Ohio.

Lida's 80th birthday celebration with her children